Увидел у QVall одну угадайку, тащу к себе другую)

According to your birthday, in 2016, you will

1-5: be completely baffled by
6-10: in the mistaken belief that it is a puppy, attempt to pet
11-15: ascend to the throne of the world as the new god of
16-20: cry a lot about
21-25: seek heaven through
26-31: finally get to be with your beautiful lover, who is

january: the weight of your sins
february: full communism
march: rage bigger than your body can contain
april: the Sun
may: eleven-dimensional space
june: violence
july: the merciless confines of linear time
august: a fictional character
september: the void
october: a ghost
november: every single dragon
december: a giant robot